Long distance no longer!

moving-icon

My boyfriend is moving in on Tuesday. In other words: I am going to be living with a man next week!!! It is a little bittersweet for me and I am feeling a lot of different emotions about it. Let me start with the good:

1. I have been living alone for over 5 years now. Even though I am (only?!) 35, I have become a little set in my ways. I think learning to compromise by living with someone again is a good thing for me.

2. Even though I am very independent and probably handier than most of my guy friends, there is something comforting about having a man around. My boyfriend is very helpful and will happily help me shovel or mow the lawn. As much as I am proud of myself for being a single homeowner all these years, I will happily hand over the shovel!! Also, there are still nights where I wake up because I hear a sound or get scared that someone is breaking in. Even though I have an alarm and I know I am safe, there is something very reassuring about having a strong guy around to protect me 🙂

3. My bf and I have been in a long distance relationship for several years and I always feel like I am missing out on things when I am by him for the weekend (we are 2 hours apart and alternate weekends)- I also miss my house and my cats when I am away. My sister has been wonderful and takes care of things while I am gone, but I’m glad to relieve her of that duty 🙂 It is nice to think that he and I will be able to spend more time together with friends and family.

4. I love my boyfriend and he is a really great guy. He is willingly leaving his job and life where he lives just to come and be with me and I appreciate that sacrifice. We have been through a lot together and I am very grateful to have him. For the past couple of years, we have gotten more serious in our relationship, yet our future together has seemed a little in limbo because of being separated most of the time.

Okay, so the “not so good”:

1. I really like living alone. I have not always liked my living situation or felt comfortable where I was living. I lived with my alcoholic father all throughout my teen years, then lived in a college dorm for four years, then lived with my best friend for several years (which was great, but sometimes it affected our friendship) and then with my husband while I was married (which eventually turned into a horrible living situation). These years on my own have been wonderful. At times I get lonely, but my house is calm and quiet.

2. I am worried about my boyfriend’s drinking. His behavior does not change much when he drinks, but what bothers me more is actually seeing him drink a lot. Because we are apart during the week, I don’t exactly know how much he drinks during the week. As you read above, my dad is an alcoholic, so I am completely aware of the signs. It is something my boyfriend and I talk about a lot and are very honest with each other about. I am giving him the benefit of the doubt, but I also don’t want to ignore red flags.

3. I own my house and it has been a source of pride for me, financially and emotionally. I am a little territorial and I want to make sure he feels like this is his home, too. But I worry about what will happen down the road, when he gets tired of just giving me money every month to live here, but isn’t on the mortgage. I am really attached to my house and after going through my divorce, I want to protect myself if things do not work out with my boyfriend down the road.

Lots going on in my head, but overall I am just really excited for us to be together!! I think he understands a lot of my fears and I am sure he is coming here with his own set of concerns. I know it won’t be easy, but it will be worth it on Sunday nights when instead of packing up his stuff in his truck to go back to his apartment 120 miles away, he is still here!

10 comments on “Long distance no longer!

  1. sandy says:

    “I am worried about my boyfriend’s drinking”……. OH dear

    !

    Like

  2. Sherri says:

    I, too, am a product of an alcoholic father. I have lived alone for 21 years and have gotten quite selfish with my time and space. I never intended for it to be this long for I do desire a relationship. But, one year turned into two, two into four, four into 8 and now here I am…. 58 years old and alone.
    I wish you two many years of happiness. Take one day at a time and value each other.

    Like

  3. El Guapo says:

    Congratulations!
    My wife and I didn’t start dating til we were in our 30s, so it made it easier to move in and live together since we were both adults. Hopefully you and your boyfriend will be able to draw on all your experience to make it everything you hope.

    Like

  4. Greet Grief says:

    You are in such a good place in a lot of ways, don’t let anything or anyone back you backwards, forward is the only way to go. Protect yourself, financially and emotionally. Good Luck

    Like

  5. Good luck – sounds like a good life change, for the most part. I guess just heed that intuition of yours vis-a-vis the drinking. You know the signs, you know the standard operating procedure and you are aware of all that. Don’t second guess yourself at the risk of keeping house…we see where that goes 🙂

    At the same time, I hope you guys keep that open line of communication open – that’s the most important thing in any relationship!

    Good luck!

    Paul

    Like

    • Thanks, Paul. I am so glad that his drinking is something that is out in the open and easily able to be discussed. If it was something he denied or wouldn’t talk about, we never would have made it to this point!

      I guess we will see how it goes! But I think it is worth the risk 🙂

      Thank you so much for commenting!!

      Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s