So now not only can I count the days, the weeks and even the months that my father has been sober, I can tick off a second Father’s Day! Last year was the first Father’s Day in over 20 years that my dad was not drunk. When I think back to last year, I couldn’t really wrap my head around that and I still didn’t trust his sobriety. A couple of years ago my dad had a stroke and just like that (picture me snapping my fingers!) he stopped drinking and to this day hasn’t resumed. The many Father’s Days during his years of drinking were synonymous with drama, fights, crying, disappointment, frustration, anger, etc. He felt even more entitled on “his” day to act like a crazy lunatic. Even though he isn’t a perfect dad, there is definitely some real normalcy in my life when it comes to my family. So tomorrow, my boyfriend and I are going to visit my parents and I’m not consumed with worry or fear…my sister and her boyfriend are even bringing his parents there to meet mine for the first time.
On a separate/related/miraculous note: I wrote a blog once before about my father returning every gift my sister and I have gotten him. This sadly is not an exaggeration. It got to the point where the only thing we would even bother buying him for his birthday or Christmas was an Amazon.com gift card. For years it was a source of hurt and disappointment, but then became an inside joke. Those of you with alcoholic or dysfunctional families know that sometimes you just have to laugh about the ludicrous things that you experience. But this year, the planets aligned and a curse was lifted and my dad is sober and he LIKED WHAT WE GOT HIM! He thanked us several times and literally used those words…”I like it”. My sister and I were together at my house and were on speakerphone with him and just sat in stunned silence, looking at each other in disbelief. Once we hung up with him, my sister yelled out “hell yeah!!!!” and we high-fived 🙂
Anxious ACOA 