I grew up with an abusive alcoholic father, but am lucky enough to have a wonderful mother and younger sister (who is my best friend) and the two most adorable nieces in the world. I live with my two spoiled cats. I am a high school teacher, which is always an adventure, but is the best job in the world. I lost my exboyfriend of ten years to alcohol addiction (with confusing circumstances) and am still grieving his loss. My struggle with anxiety has been one of the most challenging aspects of my adult life and I am constantly working on myself to understand and overcome it!
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Anxious ACOA 
Thank you for stopping by my page. It is a gift shared as I appreciate your gifts especially that of self expression. You write from the heart and it shows. I look forward to reading your works and sharing yourself in such a wonderful way.Thank you for sharing with us here in the blogging world and with those fortunate students in your community and our world.
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Besides the fact that your stories are interesting, I love your writing style. As I was reading, I was thinking that your writing style was very similar to mine. I don’t mean that in a narcissistic way, just that we have a similar way of expressing ourself, our choice of words and the way we phrase our thoughts. It has a comforting tone and is comfortable to read.
Even though you’ve been through, and are still experiencing, a lot of disappointment, you still have a sweetness and hopeful optimism about you. You seem approachable, not venomous and cynical, and you lack the “poor me” victim mentality. It’s obvious that you’ve been hurt. Stating facts is quite different than being a victim.
I love that you have kept your sense of humor. I love that you called your boyfriend amazing and that you love your job. I suspect that your mother and sister can be given a lot of credit for helping you maintain such an optimistic outlook.
I’m looking forward to reading more. Keep writing!
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Wow, I’m really speechless- thank you so much for taking the time to write all of this. I appreciate it more than you know! It doesn’t sound narcissitic at all- I think that is one of the best parts of blogging…finding other people that you can relate to in different ways. I’m flattered that you think that.
It is funny you mentioned that about me trying to to describe myself as a “victim”- that is something I am very aware of because I have always hated it when people blame their actions or situations on their childhood. I know I didn’t get divorced because my dad drank.
And yes, my mother and my sister are my very best friends and I am so, so thankful to have them.
I look forward to communicating with you more and I definitely want to read more of your writing as well 🙂 I will try to figure out how to do that email following thing- lol, I am not very technologically savvy.
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I didn’t think you were describing yourself as a victim at all, I hope you didn’t read that into my reply. What I was trying to say, and probably just didn’t do a very good job of saying it, was that even though it’s obvious that you’ve been hurt, and you’re stating facts about your family’s past, present and future, you don’t come across as a victim of your circumstances.
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One more thing … I would like to subscribe so that I get your blogs sent to my email. I just added that widget to my blog, maybe you would want to add it to yours.
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I think I did it! lol…keyword: “think”
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Yay! Sorry I read your comment too late. It’s called Follow Blog … but you know that by now 🙂
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I’m new to this too … I hope I told you right. I just checked mine and it’s telling me I’m following my own blog – haha. I see them on other people’s blogs, so I know they’re available.
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**it won’t let me re-reply above…
Oh no! I was actually saying that I appreciated you pointing out that I didn’t sound like I was trying to be a victim! So I didn’t misinterpret what you wrote at all 🙂
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I was an English teacher, too. Great site. Thanks for your work and for visiting my site! i’ll be back!
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Thank you!!!! 🙂
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Thanks so much for following the Jenn stories. I once dated an alcoholic (before I married the man I married). He had kids. I’ve often wondered what that was like for them. Thank you for your honesty.
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Thanks for commenting Jenn!! And let me tell you that you were smart and dodged a bullet by not spending your life married to an alcoholic. My mom told me a story of the one time she went to an Alanon meeting she met a very young girl who was there bc her boyfriend drank and my mom told her “run!” 😉
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Yeah. I loved that guy, but as time passes I become gladder and gladder I got away… Thanks for confirming this.
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Hi Meg! My name is Cameron and I came across your blog today and had a question. I was wondering if you’d be willing to answer for me. Thanks so much! 🙂 My email is below.
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Sure…except your email isn’t listed…
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Hey, I just nominated you for the Liebster Award. I love your blog.
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Oh wow! I am so flattered! Thank you 🙂
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Thank you for stopping by at my blog “Drinking for a Lifetime”. I’m a father and living with my daughter and her family now, 7 years sober and I am looking forward to learning from your blog what and if there is anything I can do to improve my relationship with my daughter. God Bless you on your journey and Thank you for being a teacher.
Art 🙂
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Hi Art! Thanks for reading. Congratulations on your sobriety- how amazing! I am sure your daughter is proud of you and happy that you care so much about strengthening your relationship. I can only hope that someday my dad would have that same insight!
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Hello Meg,
I thought the readers of your blog might be interested in my new book on giving up drinking for a while. It is called Between Drinks: Escape The Routine, Take Control and Join The Clear Thinkers, and the amazon link is http://www.amazon.com//dp/B00GFYH2H4.
The book will be FREE for download on Amazon on 14 May 2014 only. No catches.
You can read more about me and the book at http://www.betweendrinksblog.com. This includes testimonials from people who found it useful.
Thanks for considering and I hope it helps a reader of your blog. If you would like to review the book please email me and I will send you a free copy
Any questions please let me know – I’d enjoy hearing from you.
Thanks again.
Regards
David Downie
betweendrinks@gmail.com
http://www.betweendrinksblog.com/
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Hey David- thank you! That sounds awesome and I would definitely like a copy of your book to read and review. As a child of an alcoholic (and an English teacher!!), it sounds right up my alley. I will be emailing you and including my personal email so that you can send it to me. Again, much thanks and I appreciate you reaching out!
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Wow, I didn’t realize how many people are blogging about their experiences regarding the alcoholics in their lives. Thank you for sharing your experiences, I pray that this is an outlet for me to express myself and my daily struggles. Love your writing.
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Thank you! I didn’t realize that either when I first started this blog, but it reading other people’s experiences (and being able to contribute mine) has been so beneficial. I hope that you have a good experience as well.
Thanks for reading 🙂
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Thanks for visiting my blog, and for following me. It brought me to your blog, which i am now following. I look forward to reading more of your writing. You capture so well the life of a child of an alcoholic. Thanks for your courage in sharing your story,
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Thank you! And thank you for following my blog. It is something that has helped me so much in my journey.
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Hi! Thanks for looking at our last post Meg- so nice to virtually meet! I’m really enjoying reading your blog here and I reckon my partner in crime will too ☺️ I know I’ll be showing some of this to clients who are experiencing similar – and I know it will be helpful. SO I’m looking forward to more! Thanks for sharing your thoughts so articulately and with such honesty. Nice work! Sally
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I’m so incredibly flattered by your comment. Thank you so much. This blog has been so therapeutic for me and I’ve found being able to “talk” with other people through it has made me look at certain areas with a different perspective. I just spent some more time on your page and I love it and will certainly be following you as well!!!
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Oh that’s nice to hear – thanks 😊 Happy reading times ahead for us all then!😉
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Hi, thank you for the follow! Your blog looks very interesting. We have some things in common. I have mt reaching degree. My dad used to be an alcoholic too. Wow: do you live in NY? I wish I could go there some day?
What is your favorite thing you like about teaching?
XO
2BeChosen
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Hi! Thank you for your follow too! I actually live in NJ, but close to NY. It is an amazing city- you should definitely visit someday! I love teaching so much…I think I like most when students come back and tell me how my class had a positive influence on them. Or sometimes years later a student will still remember a book we read or an essay they wrote or something I said…that’s a great feeling 🙂
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I just started my blog “quietragingwaters” and feel fortunate that somehow you found your way to it. (Because so far not very many have, 🙂 ) Raising three children with an alcoholic husband, I want to ask, if there is “one thing” you wished or would have liked your mother to do differently (though it sounds like she did an amazing job) what would it have been?
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I have REALLY enjoyed reading your blogs. Your husband sounds very very different from my father, who was abusive in many ways…but like you said- an alcoholic is still an alcoholic. There aren’t any “good” ones.
I mean, this might not be what you want to hear, but honestly the one thing I wish my mom did was leave. I don’t waste time regretting she didn’t because the result is that I am so close to her and my sister. We have an incredible one from surviving what we did. And quite honestly that could have backfired and we could have ended up hating her too. But my mom is still unhappy. My sister and I have moved on and have our own lives, but she is still there. When I was young, I used to fantasize that my mom met a man who would love her and treat her so well (for some odd reason I pictured the singer Bryan Adams lol). I think my sister and I would have been spared a lot of pain and bad memories had she left when we were young, but now she is the only one still left at that house with him. That breaks my heart.
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Hi, thanks so much for visiting my blog and the follow. It’s great to connect with you! Sorry to hear you’re struggling with anxiety. It’s good you started to blog… for me, it’s been therapeutic to write things down. Take care, Jenny
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I admire that you are constantly working on yourself to overcome your anxiety. When you were a child, that anxiety probably helped you feel safe, which I know is a paradox or something like that. Or maybe I’m “talking” about me. I learned in a workshop that I had almost all the characteristics of an ACOA. I didn’t have an alcoholic in my immediate family, but my mother suffered from anxiety and depression. I was the hero with a side of fantasy for escape and plenty of anxiety underneath it all. Maybe our anxiety was a reasonable coping skill at one time and we can say thank you for that, but we don’t need it so much now. Thanks for letting me ramble a bit and for the follow!
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I agree that someone we used anxiety as a coping mechanism. Strangely, my anxiety didn’t really start until AFTER I moved out of my parent’s house to go to college. I think it was bc I couldn’t control what was going on with my mom and sister still there and I constantly worried about them. I guess it served its purpose then, but I really wish I didn’t have it now!!
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I think I will always have moments of anxiety, but not as often. Here’s to more moments of peace!
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