I feel like sometimes I get really (and easily) overwhelmed and then I get upset with myself for getting upset. I have been working on trying not to overreact to problems, but sometimes I just can’t help it. When I stop and think logically, I know everything is okay and that I will be fine and that the problem at hand is probably not as big of a deal as I am making it, but in the moment sometimes it feels so burdensome. I am a super responsible person (a blessing and a curse), so when something goes wrong, my OCD kicks in and I immediately feel like the problem has to be solved. Lately, it seems like I am having one thing break after another, both with my car and with my house. It just seems like there is ALWAYS something wrong or broken. And because I have the need to fix things as soon as they break, I put a lot of pressure on myself unnecessarily. My boyfriend, who lives with me, has been offering to help more, which is appreciated, but I also have a problem with control and it is hard to relinquish “jobs” to someone else. So, I feel like I am doing this to myself, but I don’t know how to break this habit. I really have been trying to take things as they come and handle them with logic in order to reduce my anxiety, but sometimes it is just too much and the dam bursts. Which is what happened today. I had expensive car problems recently, then I was getting water in my basement, then my TV just randomly broke, then my boyfriend accidentally shattered a window…and with each thing I tried to just handle it without freaking out, but today it all just came to a head and I broke down a little. Then I feel bad about myself that I let it get to me, when I know there are people dealing with bigger and more important problems than a stupid broken window. I just don’t know how to not care or overly worry about things. I wish I could snap my fingers and just change that about myself(amongst other things!) My sister has the ability to be so nonchalant about things and I wish I was more like that. Some of the things that bother me so much that I obsess over in my mind would not even faze her. I know everyone is different and we all have our strengths and weaknesses, but it is just so much easier to get stuck on what make me feel weak.
Anxious ACOA 