Much Obliged

When I started this, I made a deal with myself that I would write at least one blog entry a month.  Here it is, 9 pm on the 31st and the only reason I am doing this is because I feel obligated due solely to my desire to not miss a month (which I have never done).  I notice when I am feeling more anxious, which I am right now, I do not feel like writing, I do not want to talk to my mom on the phone, I reluctantly go to therapy.  A couple of weeks ago, I decided to go back on an antidepressant/anxiety medication after years of being off it. It was not an easy decision, but I could feel my anxiety spiraling out of control.  So far, it does not really seem to be helping much.  I know I have to be patient and give it some time and then adjust the dose, etc., but I am anxious about being anxious and feel depressed about being depressed and then I get upset about being upset. It is frustrating because I do not really know what exacerbated it, but I suppose it doesn’t really matter because I need to focus on ways to move forward.  I just really feel like no one understands and it is hard not to feel isolated and alone, which makes me feel even worse.