It’s so hard to say goodbye…


My supervisor is retiring at the end of this school year.  I have known him since the beginning of my career, which is about 17 years now.  He is one of the kindest, most genuine, and caring people I have ever known.  My first year teaching I accepted a position to teach 8th grade at a middle school in my school district, even though I had my heart set on teaching high school.  I had just turned 22 years old the month before school started (in retrospect, it was probably a good thing I didn’t start off teaching 17 year olds when I was so young!) Within the first month of the school year, I had already contacted the supervisor at the high school and set up a meeting with him.  When we met, we talked for over two hours.  When I was leaving his office, he told me he was confident that he would be able to transfer me to the high school for the next school year.  I was excited at the prospect, but also learned to love my middle school in the meantime.  In June, he contacted me to inform me that the district had a hiring freeze and no high school positions were being added.  He promised me that he would try again the following year. With mixed emotions, I signed my contract to stay at the middle school.  In August, he called me at home to tell me a teacher unexpectedly retired and her position was mine if I wanted it.  I was so torn, but felt like I could not do that to my middle school administration.  With a heavy heart, I declined the transfer.  I hung up the phone and bawled my eyes out.  I was certain that I ruined my chances to ever be moved to the high school.  To my surprise, he contacted me again in September and said that he would do everything he could to get me to the high school the next year.  Rather than being put off by my rejection, he was impressed that I was dedicated and loyal to the obligation I made.  Sure enough, true to his word, he offered me a position in the spring of that year.  I began my third year of teaching at the high school and I have been there ever since!  I love my job and I owe so much to him.  He is so supportive of the teachers in my department.  He has always encouraged me and built my confidence so much when I was a young teacher.  Every time I see him, he takes a minute to say a kind word, to tell me how special I am and what I gift I have for this profession.  It is hard to believe that I will be starting my 18th year teaching next year without him.  It brings tears to my eyes every time I think about it and I am finding it hard to find a way to thank him that truly shows him how much he has meant to me- as a mentor, a boss and as a man.  It is hard to explain, but growing up with an alcoholic father, I was always looking for male role models.  My paternal grandfather died when I was 12, right around the time my dad started drinking heavily.  I was very close with my maternal grandfather, but he lived far away.  I did not grow up with any uncles.  When I was in college, I dated a guy for a few years and grew very close with his family.  I had a wonderful relationship with his father and actually kept in touch with his parents for years after we broke up.  When I was married, I did not have a good relationship with my father-in-law, as he was a difficult man.  Currently, I have a great relationship with my boyfriend’s dad, which has filled a void in my life.  Unfortunately, he lives several states away and we do not see him often. When I really stop and think about it, I have had very few relationships with positive “father figures”.  My supervisor is the epitome of a family man, always telling us stories about his wife and adult children.  When I was getting divorced, he was incredibly supportive. Now, he takes every opportunity to tell me how glad he is that I am happy and have moved on.  I feel so sad that not only am I losing a wonderful boss, but one of the primary male role models I have ever had in my life.

4 comments on “It’s so hard to say goodbye…

  1. Chris says:

    I understand, although I’ve never really had any positive male role models in my life. My grandparents we all deceased by the time I was 6, and my dad wasn’t really there for me. My husband was the closest, but alcohol is his mistress now. I’ve just decided to be my own role model, only because I have no choice. Plus I’m raising 2 young men and have to be a positive force in their lives.
    Good luck saying goodbye. I’m sure you’ll come up with something. Perhaps a letter telling him how you feel?
    I look forward to your blog posts. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • Do Nothing Daughter says:

      Thank you so much- for reading and your thoughtful comment. You are so right that we sometimes have to fulfill roles for ourselves. I sort of became my own “husband” when I got divorced bc I lived alone for the first time in my house. It definitely made me much stronger and more independent as a result.

      A letter is a great idea, especially because he is a writer 🙂


  2. judyjourneys says:

    I think that if you shared this post with him, it would say to him everything that is in your heart.

    Liked by 1 person

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